Brittany H.

I'm sorry so sorry.

Somewhere in here.

http://postsecretcommunity.com/chat/viewtopic.php?t=4307&start=450

So, I know I'm not the greatest with words. I know I'm horrible with remembering some things like say - sending your gift - which is in fact sitting in a shoebox in a corner of my room. I know sometimes I might seem like I'm not listening or that I'm not always there. Sometimes I might not even be a great, big help. I DO know one thing and it's been on my mind for two years now. I never knew WHAT love was. I'm not sure if I will. Call me a creep or a dreamer - I think this IS it and I'm a hypocrite for saying this, because I constantly am on my friends' backs when they start preaching this love business. Lorrie, specifically, and her love for her boyfriend. I don't know what IT is, but it's every time you are there that the world is brighter and there's that feeling inside that one can never put words to. Like, an explosion. A bomb is going to be set off any minute. My friends must be tired of hearing about you. My parents must be wondering ABOUT you. My brother must pretend you don't exist. I can't get tired of you or stop wondering or stop worrying.

I'm not very good with words. At least, that's my opinion about myself. When you are depressed, it's...sometimes I wish I was there and it must be a common feeling amongst many in this sort of situation, but I feel like I MUST and sometimes at school, I don't want to BE in that stupid building. I want to be older. I want to have a fucking car and just drive all these miles to get to where you are. If you remember what I told you - during my class, I shut down. I closed my eyes and thought of you there, right there with me and making everything better. I thought of this, because I knew it would make me more comfortable and more happy and not in this odd, bad mood that came out of nowhere.

This is embarrassing. I'm not normally open. I guess I'm afraid still. I'm a scared, scared person. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about a lot of things even if half of your problems are not my fault or cannot be controlled or changed in any way.

And sometimes I think I'm absurd or silly or stupid, then I hear you say something. Hell, even a heart and I don't feel so awkward anymore. 'I love you' is not enough, I think. Not nearly enough.

That was my...ramble. Ha, ha. I wanted to keep it short and I could go on and on, but that might scare you and/or put you to sleep, so on with the playlist which I've spent a couple of hours on. Christ. I hope you love the music as much as I do. They remind me of things we've talked about, done, or just general fluffiness. Har, har;

001. That Face - The Producers OBC
002. You're My Best Friend - Queen
003. Bones - The Killers
004. Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins
005. Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows
006. Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
007. Soul Meets Body - Death Cab For Cutie
008. Pretty Baby - Vanessa Carlton
009. Fidelity - Regina Spektor
010. Feeling Way Too Damned Good - Nickelback
011. Phantom Limb - The Shins
012. Touch Me - The Doors
013. Sunday Mornings - Maroon 5
014. I Miss You - Blink 182
015. Love Song - The Cure
016. The Origin of Love - Rufus Wainwright
017. I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
018. Hey There, Delilah - Plain White T's

Feel free to bug me about transfering some songs to you if the links don't work.

... I feel like a cheese muffin.